A Worrying Decline

(///punt.calls.fell – Entrance to the old City of London School building)

Hector Tomkins surveyed his audience and cleared his throat.

“As headmaster, I have to tell this annual meeting that application numbers fell again last year. But the reason is clear. We are being systematically destroyed by Hogwarts!”

Nods of agreement.

“People no longer believe that the Webster Academy is a true school of magic. They have been seduced by the fictitious nonsense of Harry Potter and his friends. Real magic schools such as ours can no longer thrive!”

Jeers for Harry Potter.

“So what can we do? You have seen my proposal. It’s a punt, but a punt worth taking. Let’s have a show of hands!”

Unanimous support.


A year later the headmaster beamed at those in front of him.

“Calls have been flooding in for months! The future of the Webster Academy is assured!”

Huge cheers.

“We know some people viewed it as a little unethical. We know we had to get special dispensation from the Magic Council. But it was important to tinker with history to ensure that we didn’t become history!”

Prolonged applause.

“People out there don’t know any better now anyway. To them, Hogwarts has always been fact and not fiction. Harry Potter films have always been documentaries and not blockbusters. The Goblet of Fire has always been a staple of the sporting year. We’re now mainstream, no longer hidden, and so our numbers have risen again.”

A standing ovation. Hector smiled. Saving his school had been a true feat of magic.


Why this location?